Thin Ice

I am like thin ice

The crystals that form over the rushing winter stream

Fragile

Covering over

The rushing

The turbulents through my mind

Of when, why, what and how

A winter stream swirling with doubt and cares

The thin ice of my calm

The joy

Cracks again

Pieces swept away like rafts of hope

Vanishing in chaos

A whispered thought

Gratitude

Just gratitude for all

Beauty that is mine to see

sweet love in joyful smiles

Builds to trust

All is ever given

Nothing is ever withheld

From overflowing gracious heaven

Calm makes my thin ice thicken

I am a clear exquisite expression

Of ordered Principle

Crystalline

I am wealthy

Gentle gifts, holy and pure

Supporting me, defining me

I am trustingly tranquil

I am thick ice

Sure, unbreakable

Impenetrable,

the raging whys of broken trust are meaningless

the stream leaps with imagined fury and

I do not shatter

I am ice

Serene

Sure

Freezing solid the waterfall of doubts

Rising over

Above

To skate away

Beyond time.

I forgot

                                            I Forgot                                                                                                7-1-14

Let me begin by saying that for me cell phones are simply for communication, talking communication. I don’t text and my web surfing is with my computer. Then, ping, a red light flashing, a friend had sent a photo message. It took me a while to figure out what the ping that came through the phone was.  Then it took me more pushing this button and that to figure out how to show the message.  I learned a lot about the phone. I found out that you could go straight to messages by pushing the top left-hand side button and that there was another way to go to contacts.  I found another way to get to “history” and even figured out how to delete unused contacts. It was like finding my way through a maze. One button led to another menu with more choices and options within those that click.

It felt like it could go on forever.

Then….. I found that every time I pushed the green TALK button to make a call all I got was “history”.  I could call my contacts. I could call the numbers in history but I couldn’t call any new numbers.  I went to sleep thinking that my phone is broken and that I have to call the wireless carrier in the morning. Somehow in getting to that picture mail I had “broken” my phone.

 The next day I called the wireless company. The tech department tried to help me with the problem. I explained that when I push the green TALK button all I get is history and I couldn't dial a number. They walked me through all sorts of fixes and then put me on hold to do more research.  While on hold I checked Mom’s phone and it did the same thing.  Oh?  Hummm.  So I dialed a number first and then pushed TALK.  Of course that is how it is done.  When the agent came back on I just said that the “problem“ had fixed itself being too embarrassed to say the truth, that in all my exploration of the phone I forgot how to make a simple call.

This can be like our prayer.  We pray.  We know how to connect with God.  We get useful angel voices all the time and we act on them for good results. We look around us and are awed by God’s creativity and love. We know how to make a direct call to God: listening for the still small voice.  As Christ Jesus instructed us, we enter into our closet, the quite contemplation of God and man as his expression. It works every time.

Then we muck around in a mortal problem. Like my phone, we push this button and that. We make choice after choice from the myriad material options presented to us.  We try this. We try that. We push all the mortal buttons until we forget how to make that direct call to God. Next time I get too involved in pushing mortal mind’s buttons and get lost in the maze of options I’ll stop myself before I forget how to call on God.

porcupine

Wisdom teaches how to love porcupines. The human mind tells us to be afraid of the quills. But God gives the understanding to pet the porcupine in the correct direction.

How close is God

How close is God?

You are God’s giggle

The smile of Love

            so pleaded with herself

for thinking you.

You are the blueness of blue

Or is God blueness and you blue?

Can the thought of blue

be separate from blue itself?

That is how close you are to God.

God is the ribbon of Life

and you are a beautiful bow

showing off the glory of the ribbon,

                        Showing off the lifeness of Life.

You are lifeness

Inseparatable  from Life

Spirit shines through you

Like warmth is part of fire

You can never be cold

For cold is not part of fire

You are the clear crystal

That Principle creates

with its harmonious order.

Not a flaw to prevent the passage

of Soul

     that shines through you.

You are the intelligent

“Ah ha!”

 that Mind uttered

            when she thought of you

“the expression of God’s being.”

Now God giggles.

You laugh.

Indivisible.

That’s the truth!

That is Truth.

the dream

For those who may not know, my husband, Cyrus passed on suddenly six months ago. He was 59.

A few nights ago I had an interesting dream. Cyrus was in the dream with the children, Roya and Dara.  We were traveling. We were exploring a city and we were down by the docks. It was empty but then suddenly a lot of people were coming off a ferry.  It was too busy so we were exploring a new "better” route.

Somehow Cyrus sent me by myself in a car to continue to explore up into the city and come back. I was investigating but the road became a freeway on ramp with only a small way to go that was not freeway. I took the small road but almost everything let to on ramps that I did not want to take. I knew that the highway would take me far away from what I wanted. But I got lost on the streets. They would not take me back to Cyrus.

 I stopped. Two women were there so I asked directions. The one woman gave me an amazing handmade map. I looked at it and said, “Wow! This is a wonderful map.” She said, “This is what I do.  I make maps.”

As I held the map it got bigger and better so I knelt down and put it on the ground to study it. I was putting pieces of it together like a lovely puzzle. I was kneeling down by my bag to studying the map and Cyrus’ voice came from the bag (like a cell phone that was on) and said with impatience, "Where are you! Where is my hat!  Where did you put my hat!  I need my hat."  I quietly said so he couldn't hear, "I gave your hats to Dara because you don't need them anymore." Then I woke up because I realized that he didn't need hats.

I usually don't read that much into dreams but this one seemed to have meaning for me. Interesting that, in the dream, Cyrus sent me off to explore on my own.  Is this my version of HIS passing on?  He sent me off to work things out on my own.

The freeway on ramps kept wanting to take me in the way everyone else was going.  I did NOT want to go that way!  Also I was unwilling to go in a way that I thought would not lead me back to Cyrus. But I stopped the stress of trying to avoid the highway because I felt lost. I was willing to ask for directions.

In thinking about my dream I think the most important part was when I asked directions of the woman and she gave me a handmade map. It was amazing. When I told her that this is a wonderful map, she said, "That is what I do.  I make maps."

This part meant to me...  If you ask God for directions she gives you a wonderful map because that is what she does.... guide us. It was very matter of fact. Like saying, “This is the way it is, I am always making maps for people. All they have to do is ask.” It really was an incredible map.  That is why I had put it down on the ground and was studying it carefully.  I guess that is another good part of the dream.... I was studying the map.

I am not sure about Cyrus wanting his hat. That stopped me from studying the map.  I think the point was to not get distracted by things that no longer matter.

I think it was a useful dream.